On Adam Sandler and Parenthood
Adam Sandler’s brand of comedy is distinct in that it fully embraces the banalities of middle aged life. He is silly, surreal, perceptive, and to my mind, a little sad. I saw him perform last week and while amused, the emotion I felt most was deep ennui.
I was projecting a bit. He was generally upbeat but there was an undercurrent of something miserable in all his jokes. Parenthood, responsibility, suburban living, growing older. He finds humor and I guess makes a kind of peace with all this stuff. Still, here is this talented gazillionaire and I don’t envy him. The thought that ran through my head as I saw him perform was “is this all there is?”
An important caveat is that I was kinda high. More importantly I had already been high once that week, and thus sleep deprived. Edible hangovers hit harder as a parent. So it was in this depleted state that I experienced the Sandman. Weed tends to make me focus deeply on random shit. I once spent 30 minutes that felt like much longer wondering who invented the first chair. Some say that drugs give the feeling of profundity without delivering the goods. I used to debate this possibility in my mind, but after more experience I disagree. I think marijuana can bring true insight. It takes practice to bring those insights back to a sober mind.
On this night at the Chase center, the central idea I kept coming back to was that having kids kinda sucks. They’re demanding, their friends suck and you get no appreciation for your endless sacrifice. Obviously there is no easy alternative to having children. Growing old will suck even more without young blood to lighten things up. A life that must be devoted might as well be devoted to continuations of ourselves. But does it have to cost so much?
Anyways I could talk more about how we need to return to multigenerational family arrangements. How modern society is not structured for parents. But we know all that and it’s kinda boring. What I found interesting was that the inevitability of life sorta sucking and the lack of alternatives didn’t make me feel better. As usual I came back to a need for the transcendent. I guess I should spend more time trying to talk to God. This year hopefully I learn how